Last Updated on February 14, 2024 by Lifevif Team and JC Franco
What do you do when your next-door neighbor is smoking hot, and you just happen to get along like a house on fire too? To date or not to date the neighbor; that is the question! Is dating the neighbor a good idea? or is it something that will totally ruin your life? Before you abandon cautious thought and jump into dating the neighbor with both feet, take the time to consider what could go wrong.
Dating the neighbor definitely comes with its fair share of complications. If you really want it to work, you need to be aware of why it might be a bad idea. If the following possible disadvantages worry you, perhaps dating the neighbor is not a good idea.
Consider the next downsides of dating the neighbor below and make an educated decision about the next step.
Why dating your neighbor might be a bad idea – 16 possible downsides:
1. Your privacy is at risk.
When you first date someone, chances are that you have your privacy. Your new love interest doesn’t know about your daily schedule or living habits. Those details become common knowledge when you live right next door to your love interest. You might even start to feel like you are being crowded because nothing about your life is private from the new person you are dating.
2. It could bring out the stalker in one or both of you.
Knowing that the person you like is just next door could spark an interest in knowing as much as you can. Your interest could be piqued by every car that parks outside, every time you hear the phone ring, and every visitor you see strolling inside. Be careful – stalking behavior could be the swift end of things.
3. You end up knowing too much – familiarity breeds contempt.
If living next door doesn’t bring out the stalker in you, perhaps spending every waking moment in each other’s space could lead to over-familiarity. Familiarity breeds contempt – or so they say.
4. There’s a risk of awkwardness if you ever break up.
Of course, you don’t really want to toy with the idea of breaking up, but what if you do? You will probably feel really awkward with your ex being right next door. You might even feel pressured. You might feel as if you don’t want your ex to see you sitting around at home, and it might even push you to try to move on too quickly. And that’s not even to mention the awkward moments when you bump into each other outside, because you forgot to peek out the curtains before leaving the house.
5. There could be a lot of suffering if one moves on before the other.
In the event of a breakup, you could end up watching your neighbor (and ex) moving on before you. If you’re not over it, it can really hurt. Think about that for a minute – do you really want to watch your ex getting on with their life before you are ready to?
6. Close proximity can bread jealousy.
Things might be going really well with your neighbor girlfriend/boyfriend, but then an intimate friend drops by, and everything falls apart. Who is this “friend”, and why have you never heard of them? As you can imagine, from there, things can really spiral out of control. Even if the jealous one doesn’t mention it at all, just feeling jealous can be detrimental to the relationship.
7. You may not know what you are getting yourself into until it’s too late.
What if the hot and entertaining neighbor turns out to be a little crazy? It’s not only the kind of thing that happens in movies. Believe it or not, it actually happens in real life too. Sometimes strange or crazy behavior is difficult to pick up on, and it only shows itself after considerable time is spent together. Once you realize it, it’s going to be hard to break things off. Sometimes it’s easier just not knowing and rather admiring the hot neighbor from afar.
8. There’s no mystery.
When you first meet someone and start dating, having a little mystery is quite important. It keeps both parties interested. If you could know everything about your new love interest immediately, the mystery will be gone, and your interest will dwindle. Living next door to the person you are dating could lead to a complete loss of mystery.
9. You are always on call.
Everyone needs their own downtime to relax, unwind, and not have to consistently impress someone. When you live next door to your love interest, there’s an element of constantly feeling like you are on call or need to be readily available at a moment’s notice. You might find that you never really relax.
10. When there’s a fight, there’s nowhere to hide or have your own space.
When you’re dating someone that lives in another neighborhood, you get to storm off and cool down after a fight. When you live next door, you don’t really get to go too far or blow off steam. This could become highly frustrating.
11. There’s a risk of moving too fast.
When you live right next door to the person you like, you might end up doing a plethora of things a little too quickly. You might spend the night too soon, end up meeting the parents too soon, and generally move to the next level in your relationship all too soon. Living apart provides the opportunity to take things slow.
12. You end up never going anywhere.
Part of the fun of dating someone is visiting them, going out, and exploring or adventuring together. While it might seem convenient that you’re right next door to your new partner, it could lose its luster after a short time. You might find that you only ever spend time at each other’s houses and soon there’s no fun in that.
13. If you still live with the parents, they could interfere.
If you guys are still living with your parents and don’t have your own home yet, you could find that your parents or your new love interest’s parents interfere in your relationship. This can get frustrating – in fact, it could even cause a breakup in the end.
14. If you are divorced and have kids, they might not like the arrangement.
If you are divorced with kids and just getting back into dating, you might find it difficult to handle your new relationship, especially if you want to wait until the time is right to tell the kids. It will be quite hard hiding your new relationship from the children if you live right next door to each other.
15. You can never say you’re busy or “not at home”.
Do you ever have a day where you just want to be by yourself and not see anyone? We all do! Most of us tell a little white lie by saying we are busy or not at home when invited to do something. If you live next door to the very person who wants to see you, that’s not going to be an option.
16. You might become neighborhood gossip.
If you live in a community where everyone knows each other, you might find that the neighbors start to gossip about your new fling. At least that’s what they might assume when they first catch wind of it.
Last Word
As you can see, there are many reasons why it might be a bad idea to dive into a steamy love affair with the neighbor. If it all seems a little problematic, perhaps just smile, wave, and move on the next time you see your neighbor.
This article was co-authored by our team of in-house and freelance writers, and reviewed by our editors, who share their experiences and knowledge about the "Seven F's of Life".
JC Franco
JC Franco is a New York-based editor for Lifevif. He mainly focuses on content about faith, spirituality, personal growth, finance, and sports. He graduated from Mercyhurst University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business, majoring in Marketing. He is a certified tennis instructor who teaches in the New York City Metropolitan area. In terms of finance, he has passed the Level I exam of the CFA program.