Last Updated on February 14, 2024 by Lifevif Team and JC Franco
If you spend a bit of time watching television, you will undoubtedly come across the “they sleep in separate bedrooms” debacle in several movies and series. Because we see this depicted in everyday life so often, we may begin to think that it’s normal. Is it really normal to sleep in a different bed to your partner? What if climbing into the same bed as your partner at the end of every day was highly beneficial to you and your relationship?
When you think about it, our mental and physical wellbeing depends on our quality of sleep. If sleeping with your partner in the same bed can promote better mental and physical wellbeing, you already have two excellent reasons to ditch your own bed and join your partner. Read on if you would like to find out more about why you should sleep in the same bed with your spouse.
These are 16 reasons why couples should sleep together in the same bed:
1. Sharing a bed with your partner reduces depression.
Combatting depression requires oxytocin, which is a happy hormone produced by the body. It is scientifically proven that cuddling with a loved one can increase oxytocin production, which leaves you feeling good and helps reduce any lingering feelings of depression.
2. Sleeping in the same bed as your partner leads to a better sex life.
There is far more opportunity to have sex with your partner when you are sleeping in the same bed. Being right next to the person you love leads to more sexual encounters – and who doesn’t want a better sex life?!
3. Sleeping with your partner boosts the immune system.
Sleeping in the same bed as your partner leads to more sex; that’s a fact. Scientists carrying out a study at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that regularly intimate couples experienced fewer instances of common colds and flu throughout the year. It’s a known fact that people who are sexually active take fewer sick days at work.
4. Sleeping in the same bed leads to improved quality of sleep.
Studies have shown that the average amount of time it takes for a person to fall asleep when sleeping next to a loved one is usually less than 10 minutes. When sleeping alone, the time to fall asleep can vary up to 20 minutes. The quicker you fall asleep, the more chance of deep and restorative sleep there is. If you want better sleep, snuggle up next to your spouse.
5. Sleeping together reduces stress.
When stress levels are high, nothing can be more relaxing than sleeping in the arms of the person you love. Cuddling through the night can reduce stress levels, which is good for your overall health.
6. Sharing a bed with your partner helps to establish a healthy routine.
Couples with a healthy routine and schedule that tie in with each other tend to be happier than those with haphazard schedules. When you sleep in the same bed, you generally have the same bedtime and the same waking time. This already does wonders for a couple’s schedule.
7. Sleeping together develops a sense of togetherness or being a team.
If you and your partner split up in the evening to go to separate beds and bedrooms, there’s a feeling of separation and isolation involved. As a couple, you are a team, and teams do ‘everything’ together. Start sleeping in the same bed if you want to incorporate a sense of togetherness between you and your partner.
8. Sleeping in the same bed as your spouse/partner is comforting.
Sometimes all a person needs is some downtime with the one they love to reset emotionally and mentally. By climbing into bed with your partner, you can feel comforted and taken care of, which is a great way to quell the stresses, unhappiness, and challenges of the day. A bit of comforting care can really go a long way!
9. Sharing a bed enhances feelings of safety and security.
If you have even the small amount of insecurity in your life, sharing a bed with your partner can help put those feelings to rest. With your partner right next to you, you can feel safe and secure.
10. Sleeping together provides an opportunity for quality time.
Many couples feel as if they miss each other in today’s busy times. There’s work, household chores, and the kids to sort out. When do you have time to spend quality time with your partner? At the end of a busy day, when you climb into bed, you can cuddle with your partner and have some private time to truly bond.
11. Enables both partners to be emotionally open.
Having separations in your life is going to make your relationship with your partner feel stilted or emotionally closed. If you spend the nights sleeping next to each other and comforting each other, there’s an opportunity to open up to each other emotionally.
12. Allows couples to decompress after a long/hard day.
Talking about the stresses and strains of the day rarely happens at the dinner table in front of the kids. The perfect time to really decompress and get things off your mind is when you are readying for bed with your partner. You can spend some time each evening discussing the day’s happenings and considering each other’s thoughts and opinions. This isn’t possible if you are sleeping in separate beds.
13. Enhances communication.
As it turns out, just being next to someone you love enhances feelings of happiness and openness. If you sleep next to your partner, you will feel more inclined to communicate freely and openly, which will do wonders for your relationship.
14. Promotes a sense of happiness and belonging.
It’s a natural human desire to feel as if we belong. What better way to feel as if you belong than by sleeping in the arms of someone who loves you. Just having this to look forward to will make a person feel as if they do have a place in this world and that they are wanted. It’s important for a person to feel these things in a relationship in order to keep it alive.
15. Develops emotional trust.
Couples who don’t sleep together can develop feelings of mistrust. You might wonder who your partner was talking to all night on the phone or what they are thinking and feeling for all the hours that you are apart. When sleeping next to each other, you don’t have to worry much about these things. There’s less opportunity for insecure feelings or feelings of mistrust to sneak in.
16. Strengthens the bonds of commitment.
Being available and ready to climb into bed with your partner at the same time every night is a sign of commitment to your partner and the relationship. By doing this simple thing each day of your relationship, you can steadily strengthen the bonds of commitment and dedication to your partner.
In closing
If you’re wondering if there is any value to sharing a bed with your spouse, let these 16 points show you that there definitely is. So, if you want to strengthen and deepen your relationship while boosting mental, physical, and emotional health at the same time, climb into the same bed with your partner each night.
With that in mind, while there are valid reasons that some couples have for sleeping in separate beds, first consider if you are willing to miss out on all of the benefits of sleeping together. Whether you decide to sleep together or apart, good luck!
This article was co-authored by our team of in-house and freelance writers, and reviewed by our editors, who share their experiences and knowledge about the "Seven F's of Life".
JC Franco
JC Franco is a New York-based editor for Lifevif. He mainly focuses on content about faith, spirituality, personal growth, finance, and sports. He graduated from Mercyhurst University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business, majoring in Marketing. He is a certified tennis instructor who teaches in the New York City Metropolitan area. In terms of finance, he has passed the Level I exam of the CFA program.